On Uncompleted Tasks...

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task."

~William James~

Dying to Live or Living to Die.

I just finished reading this. After the tears dried I wanted to put it here and share it whith whomever may read this blog. I *needed* this in a certain way. You know? there have always been misterious ways and paths that lead me to the words I need to read …or hear. Sometimes I don´t even have to search for them, they come to me. If you have time, read it without pre-conceptions... just with an open mind and an open heart.


Dying to Live or Living to Die.

By Randy Gage @ randygage.com

February 7th, 2009

I’m doing something unusual today, in that I’m going to post the “Randy’s Rants” newsletter that went out today. I have been deluged with messages on the impact it has had on people. And I realize that not all of you blog readers gets the Rants. And I think the message is an important one for success and prosperity. I wish it was a happier message, but that’s not how all life lessons come. -RG


Dying to Live or Living to Die…
I was cruising up I-95 in the Aston with the top down; Jonny Lang wailing through the speakers.

Why am I fighting to live;
If I’m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see;
When there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give;
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live;
If I’m just living to die?

It’s one of his most haunting and poetic songs and one of my all-time favorites. But on this day, it made me very melancholy. Last weekend, my friend Carol killed her father, and then took her own life. He had been ill for a long time and had wanted to die. But that didn’t make it any less heart wrenching or shocking.

Obviously Carol was in great pain herself, and didn’t want to continue. She had a back injury and other health challenges recently and couldn’t help her sister Gail much to care for their father. I didn’t walk in her shoes, so can’t judge her or know what finally drove her to this extreme. But I do know that this is a sad and tragic end to a life that once shone brightly. And that wounds my heart and saddens my soul. I will miss my friend and always wonder what might have been.

Sometimes I wish for the arrogance of the fundamentalists, with their smug certainty of their guaranteed salvation. But alas, I can only hope that Carol and her father are in a better place, a kinder space.

I do know that death has saved them from more pain. But while that gives those of us left behind some degree of solace, there is still that gnawing hunger of what might have been.

I never met my father, so Father’s Day was reserved for my Grandfather on my Mother’s side. But he’s been gone for some years now. So every June I walk by the Hallmark display, but I have no one to buy a card for.

My grandmother is gone now too, so I have just one card to send for Mother’s Day in May. And I fear the day will come when I won’t have that either. And as much as I fear that, I fear the opposite even worse. Because no mother should ever have to bury her child.

The other day, my entire extended family met at Disney World. There were so many of us we had to take five cars. As is often the case in Florida, a summer shower came and drenched us. So we all ran to the cars, to go back to the hotel.

Then I noticed that Grandma wasn’t in any of the cars. So I sent everyone back and I waited alone for her. Finally I saw her standing alone, under a cloud. She had a rain poncho on and wanted to stay. So I agreed to walk in the rain through Disney World, just her and I.

But then I woke up, and it was a cold winter day, and the raindrops were really teardrops. What I wouldn’t give for the chance to walk in the rain with her one more time.

Today I am sad. But if you ask me most days, I’ll tell you I’m the happiest person I know. I love life, and I love my life. Each and every day I celebrate the blessings I have.

But it wasn’t always that way…

I have a journal from more than 15 years ago. No one else on the planet has ever seen it, or ever will. But it’s a suicide note.

Written in the depth of despair, when life simply seemed too arduous, too difficult, and too painful to endure any longer.

Had I acted upon that impulse then, I would have missed falling in love in Paris, flying the Concorde, and winning a World Series. I would have been cheated of some spectacular sunsets in Key West, winning the Viper shootout, and long nights talking with good friends until 4 am. I would have never heard Dmitry Hvorostovsky, rode an elephant, or seen my nieces and nephews grow into young adults.

I would have missed many of the things that make a life worth living…

I can’t tell any of this to my friend Carol anymore, so I’m telling you. If you are in pain, face seemingly insurmountable challenges, or wonder if things will ever change for you, all I can say is, please hang on, at least for another day.

You have gifts that no one else in the world can offer. You have skills you don’t even know you possess, love you haven’t experienced yet, and hope that has your name upon it.

There are songs you have yet to sing, dances you are meant to dance, and stories that only you will be able to tell.

If you’re facing financial challenges, I promise you they can be solved. Knowing what I now know about prosperity, I am shocked at how easy wealth can be manifested when your mind is right. If this is an issue for you, please go to http://www.randygage.com/ebook.html and download an electronic copy of my book, “Accept Your Abundance” at no charge.

If you’re facing medical challenges or pain, know that science is advancing every day at an exponential rate. There are bionic limbs, breakthroughs in stem cell research, and diseases being cured all the time.

If you suffer from severe depression, find a medical professional to help you. It may even be something as simple as a chemical imbalance that can be corrected with acupuncture, a change in diet, or medication.

A trained counselor can help you through unresolved issues of abuse, abandonment, or trauma. If money is an issue, there are mental health programs offered from the government, or seek help from a spiritual advisor.

If your heart is broken, it means you have the capacity to love and are loving! There is someone special out there, waiting to meet you.

As I look back on my life now – I wouldn’t change one single thing. I have loved and lost, failed in more businesses than I can count, faced almost certain death, fought drug and alcohol dependencies, and stared down many personal demons. And all of these things made me stronger, gave me wisdom, and allowed me to love. These challenges molded me, as yours are molding you.

There are joyous, wonderful experiences awaiting you, but you have to be here to receive them. Yes, it is darkest before dawn, but the dawn will always break through.

Please. If you’re still reading this far, you’re not ready to go yet. Many of us will miss Carol. And we don’t want to miss you.

So I’ll keep fighting to live;
Till there’s no reason to fight.
And I’ll keep trying to see;
Until the end is in sight.
You know I’m trying to give;
So come on give me a try.
You know I’m dying to live;
Until I’m ready to die.

And now, for the rest of you…

Most of you reading this are not contemplating suicide. But what are you doing with the gift of life you have now? When are you going to stop phoning it in, and start living your life out loud, in color and BIG?

Call someone today and tell them you love them. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Tip the waitress stupid money. Stay up all night. Send someone flowers. Send yourself flowers. Notice the stars.

Start that book, screenplay or opera you’ve been talking about for years. Go to a scary movie and stop starring in one. Take a chance. Take a risk.

Make love with the lights on. Make wild bed-breaking sex with the lights off. Unplug the TV for a month. Next time you go out to eat, order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a large chocolate milk.

Please. Live life. Live YOUR life.

And make it a life worth living.

- RG

Four Rocks to Grasp in Life

by Alex Blackwell @ TheBridgeMaker

“They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swinging hot spot. Don’t it always seem to go. That you don’t know what you got until it’s gone.” - Joni Mitchell

The coffee shop a few blocks from my house recently closed. On nights when I wanted to have a couple of hours to get some writing done, I would pack-up my laptop and head to this inspirational sanctuary. It never really occurred to me I would arrive one night and find it closed.

Likewise, it’s unsettling when, for as long as we can remember, we drive past the old farm house sitting on land covered with loblolly pines and oak tress only to look over one day from the car window and see it gone. Where a graceful, almost majestic home once stood has now been interrupted by earth movers and dump trucks. Our paradise has been deferred and we are uncertain of its new location.

Moments like these sting. It can feel like getting slapped in the face when you are not expecting it. The reality of knowing what we have today can be gone tomorrow can feel very harsh and uncomfortable.

Most of us like routine; we like the certainty and comfort of doing the same things each day and with the same people. This gives us a secure foundation for the times when we find the inspiration to try something new.

Living a full life takes a measure of risk and it does take courage. Sometimes having a rock to grasp when we make the decision to walk out of our comfort zones gives us the firm footing we need to go forward.

We hope the rocks will be readily available when we encounter turbulence along the way. Rocks are placed all around us. We just need to remember to look for them.

The Rock of Passion

Living a life of passion is living a life of meaning. Passion allows you to follow your heart’s desire without needing the approval or consent of others. Your passion is your centering agent and your soul’s compass. It will tell you when you are veering off course and it will tell you when the path you about to go down doesn’t help get you closer to your life’s purpose.

The passion rock helps you celebrate your uniqueness and value. When your self confidence is eroding and the thought of giving up is becoming the more likely choice, grasp the rock of passion and it will keep other people or difficult circumstances from sweeping you away.

Just like you have a genetic strand of DNA that determines the color of your eyes, you also have been given a divine strand of DNA that has predisposed you for a specific life purpose. Your passion will not betray you from living this purpose. This is the rock.

The Rock of Forgiveness

What happened in the past must stay in the past. It doesn’t define your value then, or now. The rock of forgiveness gives you freedom and helps you find the courage to live in the here and now.

To be clear, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself; not to the person requesting forgiveness. Forgiving, and letting go of the anger, frees your soul to be able to look ahead and to dream of the things yet to come in your life.

If self-forgiveness is needed, it works the same way. Let it go, whatever it is, and move forward. Learn from the past, but don’t stay there. Allow forgiveness to be a rock in your life and you will find mercy leads to clarity, and clarity leads to inspirational living.


The Rock of Surrender

Sometimes when we want something so much we find it difficult to focus on anything else. We try; we work; we try some more; we work even harder and still nothing.

Frustration and doubt seep in and we begin to loose our patience and faith. We begin to listen to other people and doubt our now motives, or even our sanity. However, if the thing you are working so hard to achieve is aligned with your life’s purpose and is the basis for your passion, then it’s not a matter of if, only when it will be delivered to you.

During these difficult times is when you can fall back to the rock of surrender. This rock may feel like the hardest to find because true surrendering can be one of the more difficult things to do.

Think of surrendering like asking for help. You are summoning up all of your courage and faith and turning it all over to something that exists beyond you. You must then trust the divine DNA that has been placed inside of you, and wait.

The Rock of Hope

The largest rock, with perfectly- sized notches on all sides just right for human hands, is hope.

Hope is what we see when the lights are tuned off in our coffee shops when we expect them to be on and inviting us to come inside for a little comfort. We see hope in the broken earth that once supported an old farm house full beauty and grace.

We begin to see hope in ourselves when we find the will to live our passion and the mercy to forgive those who may have kept us from it in the past. We feel our lives becoming a part of something larger when we surrender and ask for a little help – for a little more hope. The sting of unwanted change that burns our face with its harsh reality is soothed and kissed by hope.

We reach down to find our rock. We grasp it tightly at first. When the burning stops we let go. We are ready to move on, again.

Elsewhere

Jonathan Mead of Illuminated Mind has just released a wonderful new eBook, Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms.

The eBook presents many valuable lessons on how to get our dreams back on track. These touched me the most:

Define Your Dreams. Dreams are fickle creatures and can be hard to tie down, but with a little effort you can do it. Identifying is the first step on the way to achieving and this book will give you the tools to do just that.

Overcome Uncertainty. You probably wonder at some level whether dreams are practical or just ridiculous. You may not necessarily doubt the dream itself, but the uncertainty that comes with working towards it. You fear your limitations. You fear your weaknesses. Dreams are possible and Reclaim Your Dreams will show you step by step just how to make them take root in the world.

Wake Up Happy. While there are the elusive few like yourself who dare to dream, there are others who would seek to bring you down. You’ll learn how to overcome the naysayers and how to start being excited about your life again.

and about "the way" we love...

How to Love Consciously

by Alex Blackwell @ the BridgeMaker


The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” Gilbert Chesterton

Knowing how someone wants to be loved and then providing that love are two separate things. Sometimes marriages and other relationships end because either one person does not understand how to meet the needs of the other; or one partner refuses to meet the needs of the other.

To love consciously is a choice. Mary Beth and I often say being married is very similar to having another full-time job – you get out of it what you put into it.

Our marriage is like a savings account. My wife and I make deposits into it never expecting we may need to make a withdrawal. However, when we do request a withdrawal there are no associated penalties.

Yes, we argue over the temperature in the car or who really forgot to feed the dog, but when it really matters; when it really counts, we make the consciousness choice to give each other the love that is requested and needed.

With over 23 years of marriage under our belts, we have found the following strategies work best to love intentionally; to love authentically and to love consciously.

Show Appreciation
A simple “thank you” in response to a trivial or ordinary item can make a significant difference. It only takes a few short moments to utter these two words, but the impact can be felt for a very long time.

Showing gratitude is also the best strategy for ensuring the things you are most grateful for continue to happen. When we stop and tell our partners what we are grateful for, we are also telling the Universe. By making the effort, the conscious decision, to express our thanks we are in a better position of receiving more of it in the future.

If you want your partner to be grateful, it starts by you showing gratitude, first.

Be Happy, Not Right
Here’s a question for you, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” Too often our pride and egos can keep us from enjoying intimate relationships. We stew over what we think are injustices, but are perhaps only misunderstandings.

We carry grudges and do not show enough grace, passion or forgiveness to the person we care most about. Our need to be right can overshadow our need to receive, and give, love.

Take a look at what your pride is costing you. If intimacy is strained and the relationship is off track you may want to reconsider the value of your anger or self righteousness. Here’s the thing: You may be right in the argument although you partner thinks otherwise, but you will never be wrong when you put your partner first. Happiness always feels better than vindication.


No Day But Today
What would you say to your partner if you knew this was the last day you would be together? Would you complain about the television being too loud, or would you remind your partner of their value and significance?

Life does have an expiration date. This isn’t meant to be a downer – just a reality we all share. It’s what you do with this information that will make the difference. While it’s very difficult to sustain a high-level of connection and passion on a day-to-day basis, there are some simple things you can do to convey your partner’s importance to let them know they are important today:

Kiss your mate at least twice a day
Leave a quick note just to say “hi,” or “I love you”
Never do anything you wouldn’t want your partner to know
Be fully present when they need to talk or share something important
Make the effort to spend some time together each day
Give a compliment
Make your partner feel important
Smile
No Judgments
Judgments are often times rooted in perception, not reality. Judgments are also a piece of how you see the world, not the way the world, or in this case your partner, actually exists.

The harm with judgments is resentment and anger are typically the outcomes – not the change that is expected. When a judgment is made, there is an implied belief the behavior or trait being judged should be corrected. However, the person receiving the judgment does not always share the same expectation.

As a result, communication is impaired, connection is deteriorated and conflict ensues. To love deliberately and consciously requires loving your partner with a different filter – a cleaner filter that does not have the residue of past containments.

Be Aware of Your Own Thoughts & Feelings
Loving authentically is dependent on loving yourself, first. Before you share love, and share yourself with someone, it is important to beware of what you want. Reality suggests, however, we fall in love and begin relationships before we have a clear idea of our own true feelings.

When this happens, there is still plenty of time to discover your needs – this is called growth. Give yourself opportunities outside of the relationship. Build friendships and pursue interests on your own.

A good relationship exists when both people can live without the other, but choose to be together. A relationship built on a foundation of sharing different interests cultivates more life and depth into it.

You own your thoughts and feelings. These make you unique and keep you grounded with who you really are or growing to become. By doing so, you are in a much better position to love freely and honestly. Nature has a way of taking care of those things we put the most energy in and want to grow even stronger.

Loving Consciously
The power of love extends its reach when we will love intentionally. Real love, authentic love, springs to life and is sustained when we make the choice to feed it with our deliberate passion. Our souls are nourished when our partners realize we know how to love them.

There will be a day when I no longer share this life with my wife. When that day arrives, my hope is she will know my intent was to discover exactly what she wanted and my conscious choice was to give her more of that.

Driving. Not too fast, not too slow... Love is my co-pilot.

Again...this song. I feel through music... this song has been accompanying me for the past months, on and on... I started driving towards a place I don´t know ... I haven´t discovered where this road will take me, but I know that the static phase is all over.

There are some lines about the previous post that had a *strange* impact on me last night.

*Perhaps the most important message to take away from The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die is that it’s never too late to start leading a meaningful life. Age doesn’t matter. All you need is the knowledge and the will to change.

A frequent message on The BridgeMaker is to not allow shame, regret or fear keep you from creating the life that you want. No matter what the past holds, it is the past. Life is about moving forward; about living a life that resonates with truth and purpose.*

I am true to my essence. I love, grow and learn every day. Some of us learn the hard way... and I have learnt a lot lately. Yes, the hard way, and with so much pain. But at the end of the road I want to be able to turn back and see that I could change and that there is a great power that moves me every minute to be strong and to give love.

Funny to see how only a few weeks ago I read my horoscope and it said * While it may seem as though you’ve got the short end of whatever stick you covet, you’ve actually got limitless potential for more of whatever you want. Especially love — unfathomable amounts of love.* ... I laughed in a cynical way and said *yeah right... as if !*.

And today after all that happened, and after taking the dark glasses of my eyes and my heart, I can say that it is SO true, there are indeed unfathomable amounts of love. I am blessed with so many loving souls around me. And the love I give has no limits either.

So I just drive... and love is my co-pilot.

Sometimes, I feel the fear of,
uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask
myself how much I'll let the fear
take the wheel and steer.

It's driven me before, and it seems to a faint,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I, am beginning to find that I,
should be the one behing the wheel.

Chorus

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
with open arms and open eyes, yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
I'll be there....

So if I, decide to waiver my,
chance to be one of, the hive.
Will I, choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before, and it seems to be the way,
that everyone else gets around,
But lately I'm, beginning to find that,
When I drive myself my light is found.

Chorus

Would you choose, water over wine,
hold the wheel and drive...

ChorusSometimes, I feel the fear of,
uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask
myself how much I'll let the fear
take the wheel and steer.

It's driven me before, and it seems to a faint,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I, am beginning to find that I,
should be the one behing the wheel.

Chorus

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
with open arms and open eyes, yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
I'll be there....

So if I, decide to waiver my,
chance to be one of, the hive.
Will I, choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before, and it seems to be the way,
that everyone else gets around,
But lately I'm, beginning to find that,
When I drive myself my light is found.

Chorus

Would you choose, water over wine,
hold the wheel and drive...

ChorusBlink and you miss a beat
Keep pne of your eyes open at all times.
Think that you're on the brink?
The shit hasn't even begun to hit the fan.
Consequence you'll see will be stranger
than a ganng of drunken mimes.
Situation has a stink.
Better clear the air before
your son becomes a man.

Blink, everything's been augmented,
you've been left so far behind.
I think, for sure, next time
you should wear a pair of eyes
in the back or your head.
Consequence you've seen
has been stranger than si-fi of any kind.
Situation baffles me,
I guess it's ture, you too
are one of the walking dead.

(Chorus):
You better think fast!
Casue you never know
whats comming around the bend.
You better not blink!
For consequence is a bigger
word than you think.
It's bigger than you or me
(Repeat) Chorus

about attitude...

The Window

source: womenandhope.com


Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.


The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.


The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said.


Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.


One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair.


As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.


Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.


The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.


Author Unknown

Para l@s que quiero mucho...

Vamos! depende de tí. !

fuente: motivalia

Todo depende de tu actitud, sí, mientras tú te muestres optimista, podrás superar los problemas, por más tiempo y esfuerzo que te tome. Tu actitud, sí, la forma cómo quieras mirar la vida será la forma como la vida se te presente. Depende de ti, únicamente, no de tus amigos, de tu entorno, de los libros que leas, no, depende única y exclusivamente de ti. El mundo se presentará ante ti, tal y como tú quieras.

Por eso es mejor llevar contigo una sonrisa, una palabra amable, un consejo, en lugar de llevar dos piedras en los bolsillos para "defenderte" o para "atacar" y traspasar tus enojos. La vida puede ser hermosa si te decides a vivirla bien, sin rencores, sin resentimientos, sin tristezas, sin odios. Quiero que le prestes mucha atención a este utensilio, te va a ser útil:

El botiquín para vivir

En el botiquín para vivir mejor tienes que llevar un mondadientes(palillo), una liga(caucho), una curita, lápiz, borrador, un chocolate “Kiss” y una bolsa de té instantáneo.

¿Para qué?... veamos: Mondadientes: Para acordarte de "escarbar" en los demás todas las cualidades que tienen.

Liga: Para acordarte de ser flexible, ya que las cosas y las personas no siempre son de la manera como tu quieres que lo sean.

Curita: Para ayudarte a curar aquellos sentimientos heridos, ya sean tuyos o de los demás.

Lápiz: Para que anotes diariamente todas tus bendiciones.

Borrador: Para acordarte que todos cometemos errores, y no pasa nada.

Chicle: Para acordarte de "pegarte" a todo aquello que puedes sacar adelante con tu esfuerzo.

Un chocolate "Kiss": Para que te acuerdes que todo el mundo necesita un beso o un abrazo diariamente.

Y finalmente la bolsa de té: Para que?... pues para tomarte un tiempo, para tomar el té y relajarte pensando en lo mucho que tienes por agradecer, lo mucho que has conseguido.

Espero que te atrevas a llevar este botiquín contigo, verás cómo pueden cambiar las cosas si tú cambias.

Vamos, nada de tristezas, ni rencores, vamos a vivir y a ser felices, a esforzarnos por construir una sociedad mejor para nuestros seres queridos. Tú cuentas conmigo, espero contar contigo también.

Do you not know?

*Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.*

Soren Kierkegaard

Before You Die...

Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

by Alex Blackwell @ the BridgeMaker

We do not have to wait until we are old to become wise. We can discover these secrets at any age and the sooner we discover them, the more fulfilling our lives will be.” – John Izzo, Ph.D

What makes life worth living? How can we live in a meaningful and joyous way? Do we need to fear death? Dr. John Izzo addresses these questions in his latest book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.

In the book, Izzo not only shares these concepts, but he illustrates them by telling the stories of the extraordinary people he interviewed. In addition, he developed a series of questions that readers can ask themselves to help integrate the secrets into their lives.

These secrets are inspiring and provide a good blueprint or roadmap, for all of us to use in our journey of finding happiness and our life’s purpose. The following is a brief synopsis of each secret:

*Be True to Yourself.* You must follow your heart and your dreams, not the dreams someone else has for you. This may mean making a radical change in your life, or simply making small adjustments. The key to continually examine your life is to make sure you are following your own true path.

Questions to ask yourself: Did this week or day feel like my kind or week/day? What would make tomorrow or next week feel more true to myself?

*Leave No Regrets.* Although all of the people whom Izzo interviewed had some regrets, people who had the fewest were the happiest. A common theme, he discovered, is that people don’t regret risks that failed; instead they regretted not having risked more.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I act on my convictions this week? How am I responding to the setbacks in my life right now? Am I stepping forward or retreating?

*Become Love.* The more you focus on acting with love, the more you will find happiness, says Izzo. This begins with choosing to love yourself and breaking away from thoughts that are self-defeating and self-critical. You must make loving relationships a priority in your life.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I make room for friends, family and relationships today or this week? Did I spread love and kindness in the world at each interaction?

*Live the Moment.* Living the moment means living your life now rather than simply planning it. “We must always live in the present moment, the only moment in which we have any power,” writes Izzo.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I fully enjoy whatever I was doing this day/week? What am I grateful for right now?

*Give More Than You Take.* Each day you have the power to give without limit. Izzo’s interviews reveal that people long to make a contribution. Giving connects people to something larger than themselves – whether it’s a supreme being of the entire human experience and journey.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I make the world a better place this week in a small? Was I kind, generous, giving this week? How can I be more that way tomorrow?

Perhaps the most important message to take away from The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die is that it’s never too late to start leading a meaningful life. Age doesn’t matter. All you need is the knowledge and the will to change.

A frequent message on The BridgeMaker is to not allow shame, regret or fear keep you from creating the life that you want. No matter what the past holds, it is the past. Life is about moving forward; about living a life that resonates with truth and purpose. Dr. John Izzo’s The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die is a good resource for the journey.